your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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