U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
