Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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