How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Randomize
