he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
