I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize