bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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