Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
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