I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
