i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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