If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Randomize
