Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
