So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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