Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize
