hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
