It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
