Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
