Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
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