Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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