No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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