he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
