Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...

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(708): View more from Illinois

I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them

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(239): View more from Florida

Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.

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(360): View more from Washington

When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.

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(701): View more from North Dakota

She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.

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(908): View more from New Jersey

do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?

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(201): View more from New Jersey

And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich

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(870): View more from Arkansas

He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.

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