Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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