We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
