bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
