my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
