how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
