i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
