She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Woke up backwards on a recliner
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
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