hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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