You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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