I wish i was in the wii world.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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