My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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