Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
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