Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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