Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
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