Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
