All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives�
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Randomize
