Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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