guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
so much tequila, so little girl.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
