I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
