i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
