My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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