So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
