i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Blood and glitter go together right?
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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