the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
