The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
