You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Randomize
