He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
