I skipped work to stalk him.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
