do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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